Monopoly player gets arrested - 'get out of jail free' puns abound

Some chess players are notorious for having bad tempers, although I assume the ratio of angry chess players is no better or worse than the ratio of angry people in society. There have of course been occasions where games have resulted in violence (eg at the Doeberl Cup some years back), so it is always interesting when similar incidents happen in similar (but non-chess) environments.
For example, a monopoly player has been arrested for starting a brawl at a Monopoly tournament in the United States. In a scenario that chess organisers might be able to sympathise with, the player concerned had previous 'form', including being expelled from the previous years event. Despite being asked no to attend, the player turned up anyway, and predictably, trouble ensued.
Oddly, when tracking down the link for this event (using the search teams 'monopoly player arrested') I came across a number of other cases where playing Monopoly lead to trouble. In a few cases knives were involved, although the most hilarious case involved a game of 'strip monopoly' getting out of hand, with a jealous girlfriend landing one on a fellow player who was making eyes at her boyfriend.
So while chess isn't perfect in the behaviour stakes, it is at least good to know we aren't alone with the crazy!

Wuuuuut?

Not sure what was happening here, but I can safely assume it was a concocted game between the two players involved. Further evidence supporting this idea, an identical game, from the same year turned up in my database, between two other players. Maybe it's what passes for chess humour in Germany.


Weber,Winfried (2095) - Weidenhoefer,Martin [A00]
Postbauer op Postbauer, 1997

There is always a loophole

Seems that the push to get chess accepted as an Olympic sport isn't quite dead yet. Although the door to the Summer Olympics seems closed, there were hopes that chess might become a Winter Olympic sport. There is one problem however. Winter Olympic sports must be played on ice or snow.
It seems pretty unequivocal, but FIDE President Kirsan Ilyumzhinov seems to have found a loophole. He has suggested* that the chess tournament use pieces made of ice, thereby fulfilling the requirements for a Winter Olympic Sport . He apparently did this an interview in China, while attending the recent FIDE Presidential Board meeting. The story has been picked up by a few news outlets, but at this stage is yet to  qualify as the "bizarre chess story of the week". Whether it does rival the So/Nigalidze/Short media storms is not clear right now, but like a good Art House film, box office returns might be slow to start with.

*Normally with stories of this type a 'translation error' will inevitably be blamed for the statement, so I am flagging this explanation early.

Papers, Please

I've been doing a lot of overseas travel recently (and am off to Switzerland in a couple of weeks), so the discovery of the bizarre game "Papers, Please" is quite interesting. The premise of the game is that you are an immigration inspector for the fictional communist country of Arstotzka. You job consists of inspecting passports and visas, and deciding whether to let people in the country or not. And this is what you spend the game doing. Looking at documents and then stamping them. I'm pretty sure there is supposed to be more to the game than this, but I have yet to discover it.
Despite what seems to be the mind numbingly boring gameplay, it is curiously addictive. At my first attempt I took to long to decide who to let in and as a result received very little pay. This led to having no money to feed my family, so they got sick and all died. This resulted in me losing the game, as Arstotzka expects healthy and happy citizens.
So during my next trip, rather than complain about the slow lines at immigration, I will at least some appreciation for the work the inspectors are doing, given the repetitive nature of the task. If you are interested in immersing yourself in the work of an immigration officer, you can find the game at www.humblebundle.com where they have a range of terrific computer games, often using a 'pay what you wish' pricing model.

Chess gear for Halloween

'Do chess players dress up like cosplayer's do?' was a question I was asked just the other day. 'Of course not' I replied 'What do you think we are, nerds?'.
Turns out I was wrong, and it is possible to get dressed for chess, or at least as a chess piece.
Just in time for Halloween you can get a full size adult Chess King Costume from Amazon. And for the chess playing lady in your life, you can even get the matching Chess Queen Costume. There is even a smaller costume for the kids.

(Disclaimer: I definitely have no commercial relationship with any of this)

Not the way to create a weakness

Ah, the 24 hour news cycle. Turn your computer on t any time of the day and you be flooded with stories both weird and wonderful. In the former category comes a story from Seattle, where a chess game between neighbours escalated into something far more serious after one of the players pulled a gun on his opponent. The neighbour did the smart thing by getting the hell out of there, and an 8 hour siege commenced. Eventually the gunman surrendered by waving a white flag, but loudly announcing 'I resign' may have been more appropriate.
Apart from the expected criminal charges the player is probably guilty of breaching Rule 12.1 (bringing the game into disrepute), 12.6 (distracting the opponent) and 12.8 (failure to comply with the Laws of Chess). The opponent seems to have also breached 12.2 (leaving the playing venue) but I imagine he has a reasonable explanation.
One report of this story is here.

I'm pretty sure this event isn't getting rated.

An odd story from India concerning what might be the worst organised chess event in history. The Under 2200 FIDE rated event was expected to attract a field of 200 players, but instead only managed 30 players. Some of the visiting players were paid appearance money, but part of the conditions were that they lose to the local players to 'help the local talent'. The whole thing sounds like a complete train wreck, but in case I have misreported the facts, you can read what the "The Hindu" said about it here.

I'm pretty sure this isn't right

While doing a little record trawling in Chessbase (while listening to the commentators of the Singapore Grand Prix exclaiming "It's like a game of chess" in the background), I came across the following gem. My original intention was to find the game where all the pawns disappeared the quickest. In finding such a game, I came across something even better.
According to my database this was played in 1991, in the Lyngby Open (which is a real tournament in Denmark). When I initially discovered the game I was surprised that while the pawns had gone, most of the pieces remained. But by playing through a few more moves, the real intention of the players became clear. Given that such things don't happen by accident, I wonder what the arbiters opinion of this creation was?


Michna,Christian - Mach,Holger (2240) [A00]
Lyngby op Lyngby, 1991

Diving Chess?

Apparently the 19th Mind Sports Olympiad sees the addition of a new chess variant, Diving Chess. It is played in a pool, with a floating board, and you are required to stay under water for the duration of your move (by which I assume you think while under water, and surface to play your move). Much like Chess Boxing, it combines both mental and physical aspects, and like Chess Boxing, may result in brain damage.
The press release covering both Diving Chess and the rest of the Mind Sports Olympiad can be found at this link.

Buy your own World Championship title?

The World Chess Federation (not FIDE btw) has been pretty quiet lately, after the supposed multi million dollar match between current (self proclaimed) champion Stan Vaughan and Ron Gross failed to materialise. However I've just received a slightly confusing press release from the organisation which states that (a) bids for a match are now open and (b) there is no minimum amount required to be bid. It seems to imply that this is an open challenge, in that the bid can specify Vaughan's opponent, with the only condition that the winner then play Gross in 2012. However visiting the web page of the WCF (no I'm not giving a link), still speaks of minimum prize pools in the millions, so I'm not quite sure whether a bid of $1 is a valid bid.

In a sense I'm hoping $1 would be a successful bid, as it provides an opportunity for someone to take hold of this somewhat dubious title (and organisation) and bury it once and for all. Surely there is some 1800 rated player out there willing to endure a little ridicule in return for doing the rest of us a favour. Anyone?

FIDE looking to buy into the New York Real Estate Market

Long story short. FIDE can't get their Olympiad right, but are hoping to spend $10million on (or near) the Ground Zero site in New York City. Not sure where the money is coming from (and I bet FIDE Treasurer Nigel Freeman knows nothing about it), but maybe it is a cunning publicity ploy, ala the Islamic Community Centre. Thousands of Checker players, ginned up by Fox News, protesting in the street against a "Chess Centre", while crazed Bridge officials threaten to burn Modern Chess Openings. However don't attribute to cunning what you can explain by stupidity, so I assume that (a) the offer is real and (b) it won't actually go anywhere.

Not the outcome we were looking for

Two weird stories popped up today, one to do with chess, and one to do with something else. I've decided to group them together, simply because I found them both funny.
The first involved Loek Van Wely in the Dutch Championship. As an experiment, he had sensors attached to his body to read his stress levels during his round 4 game. However things didn't quite go according to plan, as his opponent FM Benjamin Bok forced a repetition starting on move 13. This didn't amuse Van Wely, as neither player was willing to claim a three-fold repetition until move 37! As for measuring Van Wely's stress levels, the use of equipment may have been unnecessary, as his post game comments where he referred to his opponent as an "idiot" probably provided enough experimental data on its own. Chessvibes has the full story, including the game in question.
The second (non-chess) story involved a giant statue of Jesus, located in Ohio,USA. Nicknamed the "Touchdown Jesus" due to the its raised arms (like the signal for a touchdown in American Football), it was completely destroyed by a bolt of lightning during an overnight storm. Apparently the Adult Bookstore located on the other side of the freeway was left untouched. Full story here.

The things you see in Canberra

I suspect my fellow *Canberra* chess blogger, David Smerdon, hasn't yet got the hang of the 'Canberra thing'. On the one hand he appreciates the beauty of living in the nations capital, but on the other, he still views it through the eyes of an outsider. This is not an uncommon attitude amongst recent arrivals to the city, as the rationalisation is that their only here for work/study and will soon be gone to fairer climes. This attitude persists until the moment they wake up one morning, and realise they always wanted to live here, they just hadn't known it until now.
And when you live in Canberra you get to see things that make the city different. I don't mean the lack of traffic jams, the wonderful flora and fauna, or the generally excellent winter weather. Instead the odd things when Canberra sub-cultures collide.
Last Saturday Street Chess (played under the trees in City Walk) began surrounded by an enormous number of motorcycle riders. It turned out that the annual Bikie charity run was scheduled to finish just as Street Chess was starting. It also turned out that a pillow fight (yes you read right) was also scheduled to be held at the exact time and place that the charity run was finishing. Now if I was planning to hold a *pillow fight*, doing it in the middle of a large group of bikies would not have been my preferred option. But to their credit, the organisers stuck to their guns and at the appointed time, 100 or so people came streaming from everywhere, and began to lay into each other with previously hidden pillows. With the bikies, the police, and the general public staring in amazement, this went on for about 90 seconds. Then as quickly as it started it ended, and within another 30 seconds the pillow fighting crowd had completely disappeared.

Blackout in Bulgaria

I was watching the online coverage of the 5th game in the 2010 World Championship Match when the amazing news came through that all the lights in the playing hall had gone out. There were also reports that the whole building had lost electricity meaning that there was difficulty in entering and exiting the building. Apparently this state of affairs remained for about 15 minutes before power was returned.
It seems that the organisers at least were able to cope with this eventuality, as the game continued with emergency lighting, although the online coverage of the game seemed to be interrupted. Nonetheless such an incident can be disturbing to both players. A similar incident occurred during the Fischer Petrosian match in 1971, although surprisingly Fischer (who was always touchy about lighting) allowed his clock to be restarted in the semi-darkness as he was still thinking about the position.
Interestingly it is countries who have a poorer electricity infrastructure are better able to cope with such a situation. In last years Solomon Islands International, Honiara was hit with a city wide blackout, plunging the 3rd round of the tournament into darkness. No problems, out came the battery powered lamps, and the only game in progress continued. It however did have one practical effect. Brian Jones played 34.Nxe7# but failed to realise it was mate as he did not spot his own bishop on c3 covering the dark(end) squares!

Jones,B (2065) - Tangaibasa,Brandon [A43]
Solomon Islands Int Honiara SOL (3), 25.09.2009

1.d4 c5 2.d5 d6 3.c4 Bf5 4.Nc3 Nd7 5.e4 Bg6 6.f4 Ngf6 7.Bd3 h6 8.Nf3 Bh7 9.0-0 g6 10.e5 dxe5 11.fxe5 Ng4 12.e6 fxe6 13.dxe6 Nde5 14.Qa4+ Nc6 15.Be4 Qc8 16.Bd5 Bg7 17.h3 Nf6 18.Be3 0-0 19.Bxc5 Qc7 20.Rae1 Nh5 21.Nb5 Qd8 22.Rd1 Qa5 23.Qxa5 Nxa5 24.Bxe7 Rfc8 25.Bb4 Nc6 26.e7+ Kh8 27.Bxc6 bxc6 28.Nd6 Rcb8 29.Nf7+ Kg8 30.Nd8 Nf6 31.Bc3 Ne8 32.Ne5 Bf6 33.Nexc6 Bxe7 (D)
34.Nxe7# 1-0

Most one sided win ever?

Occasionally I trawl my database for games that have a 'special' quality. I'm not looking for the brilliant mind you, but the bizarre. And I cam across a game that fits the bill nicely. It is quite probably the most one-sided win ever (with the black pieces. I didn't do a search for similar wins by White). By the end of the game Black has captured everything of White's army, bar 4 pawns and the King. In return he has lost exactly nothing. Now of course this game could be entirely contrived, given the weird opening play from both sides, but even composed games deserve the light of day.

Rech,Andre - Weber,Daniel [C20]
Saarland-ch U18 GER, 1992

1.e4 e5 2.Bd3 Bb4 3.Qg4 h5 4.Qg5 Qxg5 5.f4 Qxf4 6.Ne2 Qg4 7.h3 Qxg2 8.Rh2 Qxh2 9.Kd1 Qh1+ 10.Ng1 Qxg1+ 11.Ke2 Qxc1 12.Ke3 Qxb2 13.Nc3 Qxa1 14.Kf3 d6 15.Bb5+ c6 16.Bd3 Bxc3 17.Kg3 Qe1+ 18.Kh2 Nf6 19.Kg2 Qxd2+ 20.Kg1 Rh6 21.Kh1 Rg6 22.a4 Rg3 23.a5 Rf3 24.a6 Re3 25.Bc4 Re1+ 26.Bf1 Rxf1# 0-1

Apparently it's all Korchnoi's Fault

I was planning to say no more about the World Chess Federation, but Stan Vaughan is just the gift that keeps on giving. Following the adage that any publicity is good publicity, I keep getting press releases from the organisation, despite the mocking tone of my previous posts about them. Actually a large number of chess journalists and bloggers seem to be on their 'drop list', but I may one of the very few that use the information they send.
The latest missive from the World Chess Federation concerns their press conference to promote the upcoming $7.5 million world championship match. The absolute highlight (for me anyway) was the revelation that Kirsan Ilyumzhinov is an evil spirit who came through a portal that was created by Viktor Korchnoi when he played a match against the long deceased Geza Maroczy. Certainly an interesting theory, although conventional wisdom is that the moves of Maroczy (relayed by a spiritual medium) came not so much from the great beyond, but from a silicon brain.
There is even a video of the press conference. Click on this link if you wish to see the faces behind the madness.

Chock full o' nuts

The "Obama wins world chess championship" satirical article has popped up on a number of blogs, although to me it lacks two important ingredients of good satire, in that is is neither clever nor funny. But it did provoke an unintentionally hilarious response from Stan Vaughn, who I previously chronicled here. I present the entire letter Stan wrote to the Tampa Tribune, completely unedited. Nonetheless it would be delinquent of me not to point out that the claims made in this letter are demonstrably false.

Dear Mr. barton Hinkle,

Please be advised that the World Chess Federation, Inc considers your story in October 24th Tampa Tribune that it has declared Obama as WCF World Chess Champion to be inaccurate. Further, FIDE is the International Chess Federation and does not have any rights to the World Chess Federation tradenames and trademarks as World Chess Federation, Inc, a Nevada corporation, holds worldwide rights to the tradenames and trademarks for World Chess Federation. Further Fischer did not sign the 2002 Prague Agreement and further Anand turned down the opportunity in 2000 to play for the WCF World Chess Champion title so therefore any claim is not undisputed as further in 1992 FIDE Campomanes signed over legal rights to title of The World Chess Champion to Bobby Fischer. now deceased. Further should Obama wish to play in the upcoming WCF The World Chess Championship Qualifying Tournament in Las Vegas Dec 2-13 at Riviera he may only do so not representing USA as Kenya recently provided a certified copy of his Kenya Birth certificate and after his later Indonesian citizenship he never became a naturalized US citizen. You may have also heard that the US military is now revoking orders to go to Afghanistan for all military personnel who are filing court challenges to deployment orders in light that Obama is not eligible to be President nor commander in chief . Attached is a certified copy of his Kenyan birth certificate as provided by Kenya and further the so called certificate of live birth Obama provided allegedly from Hawaii has been certified a fake now as had photoshopped borders of different year than copy and experts proved had black and white pixels not green behind wording that had replaced earlier different text.

Now Mr Vaughn is also the organiser of the 'World Championship' match in Las Vegas later this year. Not that I was planning to attend mind you, but if I want to be exposed to this kind of craziness, I can save the air fare by instead watching the nutbags on Fox News from the comfort of my living room.

"World Championship" starts soon

I've been caught completely unaware of the fact the the "World Championship" is due to start in Las Vegas on December 1. The "World Championship", for a purse of $6,000,000, is between GM Varuzhan Akobian and Stan Vaughan.
Canberran's are well aware of who Akobian is (as he won the 2008 O2C Doeberl Cup), but Stan Vaughan may be more of a mystery. According to his CV (which was actually longer than Akobian's in the press release) he is 29 time US Champion (of the American Chess Association), as well as being World Correspondence Chess Champion (of the WCCF) from 1995 to 2007. He is also the current World Champion (of the World Chess Federation).
According to my research (which you can replicate by typing his name into google and is totally worth doing) he had a USCF rating of 2200 (which according to the USCF ratings system, can't fall any lower), but does not have a FIDE rating. His actual strength is difficult to verify, as chessbase only has 4 or 5 games of his in their database. Interestingly one of those games was a CC game against well known Australia weekend chess warrior David Lovejoy.
But for those of you who think that this match somehow lack credibility, I received a follow up press release that breathlessly announced that GM Raymond Keene will be the Master of Ceremonies for the event. And you can't get more "credibility" than that.

Lovejoy,David W - Vaughan,Stan (USA) [C18]
Endzelins Mem. Prel.7 corr ICCF, 1987

1.e4 e6 2.d4 d5 3.Nc3 Bb4 4.e5 c5 5.a3 Bxc3+ 6.bxc3 Ne7 7.Qg4 0-0 8.Bg5 Qa5 9.Ne2 Nbc6 10.h4 Nxd4 11.Bxe7 Nxc2+ 12.Kd1 Nxa1(D)
13.Bf6 g6 14.Qf4 Qxa3 15.Qh6 Qb3+ 16.Ke1 Qb1+ 17.Nc1 Qe4+ 18.Be2 Nc2+ 19.Kf1 1-0

The King is Dead!

Not to be outdone by yesterdays dramas at the Australian Open, the Australian Junior Championship had some excitement of their own. When the organising team arrived for the days play there were a couple of things amiss. Firstly, board numbers and names tags had been randomly re-arranged in the hall, but more significantly, all the kings had been stolen from the sets. This forced the organising team to track down over 100 replacement kings from the venue, and from further a field to get the round started. Suffice to say the organisers weren't very happy, especially as the missing equipment has yet to be found.
This is likely to have been a prank gone wrong, especially as the Australian Junior has had similar incidents in the past (such as the 'Bishop Biting' incident), but if it was a prank it wasn't well thought out, or even funny.
However it is worth noting that today also happens to be the anniversary of the birth of Elvis Presley, so it may not be so much of a prank, as a tribute.

I bet Kasparov didn't expect this!

A collection of opposition groups to the Russian Government held its first meeting of an alternative "National Assembly" on Saturday. One of the leading figures in the "Other Russia" group is former World Champion Gary Kasparov. The meeting didn't get of to an auspicious start as it was delayed an hour due to late arrival of Kasparov himself, leading me to wonder if the Russian Government can now claim a forfeit.
But the most outrageous stunt at the meeting came from a pro-government protest group. As reported in the Moscow Times "A couple of pro-Kremlin Young Russia activists added to the commotion at the event by launching plastic phallus on propellers, which were knocked out of the air by security guards."
There is video of this device on the net already, but as this is a family blog, I'll leave it to you to track it down.